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04/11/2004 Entry: "Gym, Granny’s in lycra and the primal screaming"

A long over due update… Doesn’t this site just reek of desperation?

Well change of plans, I cancelled my gym membership a few days back and set up Wayne’s home gym-o-pain.
Well that’s Ł40 a month my bankrupt arse is saving, plus the gym was one of those “Techno Gym” things which pretty much means Granny’s and fat middle aged women in lycra… My skin is crawling; nasty mental images are destroying my brain cells as we speak…. Arrr make the bad pictures stop mummy.

I think the final insult came, as I was finishing up on the bench press and ok my skinny arse isn’t going to be appearing on worlds strongest, unless one of those freaks decides to make me he’s bitch. But, as I was moving away from the machine, Harry the “start digging the grave” old bastard jumps on, and with a mocking look upon he’s face almost doubles the weigh I had on, and proceed to humiliate yours truly… Oh how I ran away (I was almost tempted to steal he’s zimmer frame).

One good thing about home gyms, I can really get down and put on the face of pain and hatred you express while lifting… the face you must suppress at the gym or face traumatising children and causing grannies to run in fear and maybe a few screams of “who’s ya daddy”… that’s almost certainly guaranteed to get to thrown out a gym.

Take care, and remember never to leave fingerprints.

Replies: 19 comments

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