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04/25/2004 Entry: "To work, or not to work... That is the question."

Dilemma dilemma, something’s been on my mind for the last few days… Namely, me getting a full time job and ok I think I’ve spoken of this before but the question remains what’s the lesser of two evils… Well when I say evil I mean what’s worse.

I’ve tried looking at it in a philosophical manner, putting it into a mathematical formula and finally resorting to some kind of Buddhist meditation what was just plain uncomfortable… to no avail.

Want vs. need, plus what does the need/want require me to do and is that requirement too high a cost, will the cost destroy or change me, wearing me down to nothing more than an automaton, another cog in the machine that I have no control over with some suite wearing baboon barking out commands and pressing the button?

But, I want the money as it does indeed bring happiness, it does indeed bring freedom to do other things that I cannot do right now.
I think reading Nietzsche isn’t helping me; I just wonder how long I can put off the inevitable.
I can just imagine it now, having to tolerate the inane chatter of office staff or count the seconds while I do manual labour.

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